So, it's been a year today that I arrived in Newcastle Upon Tyne, England.
That first day was truly odd, but good. I was very nervous and it was cold and grey. Not like today at all.
Today is sunny and bright and in fact there is not a single cloud to be seen out my window,
well a single-short streak behind what must be a plane is there, but that is all... and of course the big
round sun. Blinding and burning and incessantly there.
It's giving me that bluey-green haze in front of my eyes that you get when there is too much sunlight to take,
(o so poetically) mirroring the 'metaphorical' haze I seem to have been living in since I got here.
You know, it's been a year and I still don't feel quite settled.
Must be a job thing?
I'll get myself sorted though, I will, you just watch me.
In this last year I have been to France, been to Scotland, been back home, been a bridesmaid (or a maid of horror.. honour?), cut my hair, cut my hair again, worked 3 different jobs and a 4th one off weekend job, cried a lot, laughed a lot, walked (an awful awful) lot, made an entirely new life for me in a city where I knew only one person and the haze is still here. Maybe that might suggest that there is a light shining somewhere all the time... or maybe that is just me getting carried away. To be honest, I can be as poetic (as terrible as my poetry can be) as I like to try but I am actually rather bleeding blunt and realistic. So it is likely that I am in a haze for no reason whatsoever that I will ever comprehend, and it'll just end when it decides to do so on it's flipping own.
Wow, the end of that paragraph seems a little morose.
But I am not, honestly :)
Photo's taken by me, about a year ago; 'A Walk To Kibblesworth and Back'
A year.
"baby please don't go, baby please don't go back to new orleans baby please don't go" I was sad when you left and I'm still sad you're gone but I'm also easily able to say I'm dreadfully proud of you and your milestone - shedding the millstone happens bit by bit sometimes as I sure know - I had my 4yr 6mnth sydney anniversary just last month and I still sometimes don't feel settled.
ReplyDeleteBrudda blister mitten sister
Dearheart,
ReplyDeletewatching you spread your wings was a grand and mixed moment;
I was so proud of you for striking out into the unknown, yet holding sadness close that you had flown.
You went
To discover new things and plumb dark corners of your heart.
To laugh with strangers and love with family.
At times you've walked under grey skies with bleeding red heart.
Now you stretch growing green fingers to warm sun and see strength grow inside the boundaries of your skin.
Man alive do I love you.
I miss the sound of your laughter.
Brotherben.